Don’t You Dare Nap.

Naps are beautiful little gifts to parents all around the world. Those blissful, silent precious moments that you tell yourself that you will catch up on that load of laundry, clean the bathroom, or even get in a work-out. But, in reality, it’s when we shove that last piece of cake that was hidden in the fridge into our mouths or accidently pour wine into our cup and 575802_3380752316578_559544546_nmagically appear on the couch surfing the channels. Yet there is a time during the day when naps are forbidden. You know when I am referring to. That toddler of yours that has been refusing to lay down during his scheduled nap time is slowly approaching that forbidden time with big yawns, wimpy cries, and zombie-like movies. We scrabble to find interactive games: peek-a-boo, throwing the ball, coloring, painting, dancing. ANYTHING that will keep those eyes open. However, it is a futile battle. One that you will loose. The afternoon nap is approaching and will conquer the fidgeting toddler into a blissful rest.

I hate afternoon naps.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the beautiful sound of sweet nothingness. But, do not take a nap after 3 P.M. or I will hurt you. Do not wake up right before dinner is about to be served, agitated that your nap was interrupted by the sweet smells of lasagna. I do not want to stay up, half alert, on the bed with you while you are throwing matchbox cars on the floor and sticking puzzle 148720_3402702305314_1644583959_npieces in my hair. I understand that you are well rested. Bless you. But, do not accept Mommy Pinterest after 8 P.M. There will be no fun night themed games. Although, you may be able to play in my make-up bag because I will be too tired to care. You are very lucky that you are not put into your room with the door shut and left on your own accord. I will at least let jump over mommy and daddy while we snore into oblivion, play with my phone and allow you to hack and post mommy’s secret pictures on her Facebook wall, and maybe make a phone call to NASA to blabber away about Pocoyo.

Wait. Maybe this has been your plan all along. You’ve been waiting for that moment to buy the daddle that you have been eyeballing no toddler ever have.



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  1. Dana

    Best mommy blog ever. Tell it like it is. Fuck afternoon naps. Keep it coming you smart and pretty momma!

  2. Rabia Lieber (@MamaRabia)

    Amen!! I would also like to share some hate for the “car nap.” On long trips it can be a blessing, but when you are just out for a short trip or on almost home at night: Don’t even think about it!! I once spent the entirety of a 10 minute trip home yelling :Don’t go to sleep!” over and over again!

    PS It didn’t work.

  3. Rebecca

    HAHA! This is beyond true. If Dylan falls asleep in the afternoon my whole night is shot and I’m screwed with a fussy baby that doesn’t want to go to bed when he’s supposed to. It is miserable!

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