Mental Illness

Going Back to Basics

I quit social media yesterday. Well, that sounds kind of dramatic. I didn’t delete or de-activate any of my accounts. But, I did remove all the apps from my cell phone. Facebook. Instagram. Tiktok. Those are my three go-to social media apps. I am just completely over social media and the way it consumes you.

As soon as I wake up, the first thing I do is click on my Facebook app. It’s also the last thing I look at before I go to bed. I can’t even count the number of times I go on it during the day. And that’s just Facebook. It’s not like I even enjoy scrolling through my newsfeed. I mindlessly do it. It’s just another form of disassociation. And the same thing goes for Instagram. There is absolutely no joy with those apps. Tiktok is a different story. I actually enjoy that one. Maybe because it’s relatively new? Or it’s because I get to SEE people and hear their voices. But the problem is, I get sucked into a rabbit hole and lose time.

One of the biggest fallbacks is that I’m a writer and social media is how I connect to my audience and grow. So, not only was I using all these sites for personal, I’m using them for business too. I felt like I could not get any escape from social media. And, I sucked at running it as a business. I would spend up to twenty hours a week on networking, posting, and scheduling that I stopped writing. It’s not even that I just stopped writing, but I just became disconnected to my reality.

Luckily, I was able to get some help running my social media. I want to write; to share my stories and fight the stigma attached to being a mother with mental illness. And having this incredible human being running my social media allows me to create. She pushes me to write and gives me the space from the “business” aspect to create. Yet, it wasn’t enough. I was still mindlessly scrolling through newsfeeds, wasting away.

So, I made the decision to quit social media. I’m giving myself 30 days, no less but maybe more. I’m going back to my roots – blogging. Ideally, I would love to write every single day and I hope that it is something that I can do. More importantly, I don’t want to lose anymore time. I’m so tired of being attached to a virtual reality. I feel as if I’m more attached to the people in my phone than the people in my house. Which, isn’t necessarily fair to say to myself because I’m a stay-at-home mom. Maybe it isn’t about giving my time away to other people, but really for myself? Does that even make sense?

Not only am I a SAHM, but I homeschool my children. I am surrounded by my family twenty-four/seven. So, I use social media as an escape … a form of self-care, alone time. But, that time isn’t serving me well. It doesn’t bring joy. It numbs my mind. This haitus from social media is multifacaded. I need it to help write but I want it because I’m realizing it isn’t serving me but hindering me.

I’m hesitant to say that I’m excited to see what the next thirty days will bring because I feel as if I’m jinxing it. But, I hope that I write. I hope that I find ways to escape that aren’t bad for my mental health. I hope that this time serves me well.

And remember, be kind to your mind. It’s important and so are you.

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