On August 22nd, it is National Rainbow Baby. On this day, mothers share their experiences with grief, infertility, and pregnancy loss. It’s also a time to celebrate the beauty of birth after a loss.
My story with secondary infertility began five years ago. During that time, it was filled with incredible heartache and darkness. I had lost six pregnancies. It felt hopeless. The life of infertility was a journey that I never believed I would endure.
Yet, one pregnancy began to last longer than all the others. Every movement and flutter inside my belly was tempting faith. I was terrified of loving this baby before I held them in my arms. It was a cursed blessing, feeling this baby grow but unsure if they would say. I found out she was a girl. And, she wasn’t the first rainbow baby that grew in my belly, but she’s the one that stayed.
The closer I got into my third trimester, the more I believe she would be born. Naming her was easy, Iris. The Greek Goddess of the rainbows. Every time, I call out her name, I celebrate her life. Her name rejoices her birth. She is a reminder of the strength and joy the universe has to offer, after the chaotic darkness.
As we approach her fifth birthday, I acknowledge the beauty of her life and what she has given the world. She shines so brightly, that it’s hard to look into the past.
It’s cliche, but she has completed my story as a mother.